No doubt you've read about the Dutch company that's planning a one-way trip to Mars. At least planning a kind of reality show based on the earthlings who've applied to leave earth forever and settle on Mars.
The logistics of this for a Cree man are, uh what's the word? Mindboggling, yeah that's it. Mission Impossible if I was leading this. I mean. What if the toaster went on the blink. Or the bed needed to be made up. The laundry. Things like that. Anyway, here's top ten list of reasons why Neechies want to go go Mars.
1. I need a job dammit.
2. I got a court date coming up and I may be lookin at doing time.
3. Uh, well, how hard can it be? I'm on social here man!
4. You know, it'd be hard for those first two years. 4 people, confined space. But look at what we've lived through. Like, try living with 18 people in a two bedroom house. I'd say that's good experience. Maybe we're all on training here and we doon know it.
5. When I wake up at two in the morning here. I think about what's going on in the middle east. In east Asia. It's only a matter of time before somebody pushes that button. I gotta get this roof fixed.
6. Hey, I bet I'm the only Cree speaker that's signed up! Wow, how cool is that? To send a Cree speaker to Mars. Pretty soon Cree would be spoken by all kinds of Martians. Yeah, someday in the future a Martian will land here and say, "Tansi Boy!"
7. I think you'd have to be a bit crazy to do this. But hey. That's what I am. Might as well be crazy on Mars.
8. If I got to go to Mars, would I still get my treaty money?
9. Would I be able to pass on my Treaty status?
10. I need a new relationship here, my god.